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Childhood & Self Love Development.

Updated: Oct 14, 2021

As many of you have heard our Founder Rosemary Dede (@rosemary.dede on IG and FB) was invited to give a talk at the Black Female Achievers event in the Netherlands. It was an incredible experience we won't forget - full of some amazingly talented WOC that we are thrilled to have connected with.

The theme of self-care and self-love, which she knew was a sign since our signature retreats is all about self-love and giving you the honeymoon you deserve (more info at the end). She gave a speech that we still watch to this day! Make sure to watch it on our Youtube channel here if you haven't already.

Here's a quick summary and highlights that you should take away:

According to a research study in the US, black children are said to be perceived as more grown-up than their peers of other races. We know that generally speaking being raised in single-parent homes, the children often are made to take on more responsibilities, earlier. In this case, at a lot of times, your upbringing teaches you, subconsciously or consciously, to take care of others before yourself, and also teaches you that the concept of self-love is selfish.

That is why we think it is important to teach our kids early about self-love so that this is not something they learn as adults. Self-love and Self Care is more than a trend and it starts with putting yourself first and setting healthy boundaries. Use these two self-love affirmations to guide you into becoming more loving to yourself:

"What is in my cup is for me and what spills over is for others"

"When I say yes to myself am I saying no to myself?"

Do you agree with this? We took to the DMs to find out what the rest of the tribe thought, and we fell in love with some of the responses.

@nadielliz (below): I think for me it started with mixed messages as to what is expected and even what love looks like. The inaccurate depiction of what a woman should be, especially the message that as a woman, one must sacrifice in order to receive love. Also seeing the women around me put everyone and everything before themselves, sent the message that to love myself would be selfish. To show kindness to myself first is unchristian like too. For me it’s not so much about self-love as a woman of color but more about self-love as a woman. (I’m from St. Lucia, more than 90% of the island is of the diaspora).


@dialouge.nyne (below): I loved the idea of exploring self-love and self-care beyond trends. It’s practice beyond theory and highly unique based on our own needs, trauma, goals, and desires. As for my childhood and self-love, I grew up in a stable, loving environment. Yet I realized as an adult that there were some explicit convos missing, and that combined with “daddy issues” challenged my self-love.

@the_fit_butterflygoddess (below): A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things that add quality and beauty to life.

Would you like to join the discussion in our private Facebook community? It is filled with talented like-minded WOC around the world. Every two weeks we discuss holistic wellness practices and life experiences to improve our bodies minds and souls. We are a sisterhood that supports and uplifts each other as well as boosting each other’s exposure.

Head to our Facebook community to join the conversations!

If you enjoyed this, make sure to share it with someone else and sign up to our newsletterto get other amazing tips for a happier, healthier and more successful life.

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