Learn about the 3 things you can do to have a harmonious marriage.
Most people focus so much on their wedding day that they forget to spend as much time and energy prepping for their marriage. You may think that when you find the right person and that you love each other, it will just be the two of you against the world.
Unfortunately, if you ask any married couple out there, they will tell you that they lacked the right tools when they were faced with the difficult moments in their marriage.
What should be in your marriage toolkit?
The best way to deal with issues when they come up is to know the right tools to use.
One of the best tools to add in your toolkit is having open and honest communication.
I'm sure this one does not come as a surprise and yet very few people focus on having deep and sometimes uncomfortable conversations about the big topics that tend to cause frictions in marriage.
Secret N.1 - Don't just assume things, ask questions
You may think that because bae and you have so much in common, that you will do and see things the same way. Unfortunately, that is not always true.
Here are a few questions that you might want to ask instead of assuming the answer:
Ask questions about where you are going to live. City vs small town.
Ask questions about having children or not, how many, when to start.
Ask questions about finances. Will you split the bills, have a joint account, save separately or contribute equally?
Having conversations about topics such as health background, finances, family, career and sex early on in the relationship is very important. Make sure to revisit these conversations to see if you are still on the same page when it comes to these points.
Secret Nr.2 - Ask for what you want, hints don't work
A lot of resentment and misunderstandings happen because we don't ask for what we want. Expecting your spouse to know what you want because you told them once or hinted on it, does not suffice. If you want or need something, the best way is to ask for it. It may not be as romantic but at least you will be more likely to receive it.
If you need help with cleaning, you could say something like: " Could you please help me to clean the living room with the vacuum"?
If you want to have more date nights initiated by your partner you could say something like:
"I would love you to organize our next date night, I really look forward to spending time together and can't wait to see what you will plan for us".
Secret Nr.3 - Even though you are a couple, you are still an individual
In order to have a harmonious relationship it is important not to loose yourself in each other. It is easy to get lost in your role as wife (or mother sometimes too).
Here are a few tips to help you:
Have healthy boundaries and share them with your partner (What do you need to feel safe and respected?)
Stay connected with your friends & family (have moments when you see them alone)
Invest in yourself & your passions (course, coaching, hobbies, etc...)
Make time for me-time (date time with yourself, trips alone or with friends)
Marriage takes work, commitment, respect and love, but a marriage based on love and respect doesn't just happen. For it to work, everyone needs to do their part.
These 3 secret ingredients for a thriving marriage were shared during our last sister chat about the struggles of married life no one talks about. Our sister chats are all about having much needed conversations to help us make better choices for a happier, healthier and more successful life.
What are your secret tools for a harmonious relationship? Feel free to share them with us in the comment section here below.
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